Been hurt before

"Once bitten twice shy" they say. Maybe after you've been hurt, you're scared, you wanna protect yourself and never be put through the pain again.

That's love for you.

Love - it brings immense happiness to some and intense sadness to others. Those that have been through the period of extreme misery would never want to be subjected to it again. Those nights they cried themselves to sleep, the heartache they suffered, the feeling of betrayal and disappointment, the millions of "whys" and "what ifs" that ran through the head. It's almost too much to bear and definitely something one will not want to go through again.

But does that mean you're never gonna love again? Just cos it's a risk you never wanna take? Well, ultimately it's an individual's choice, to stay single. But be gentle with the hearts of those around you.

Don't let people fall if you never meant to catch.

expectation = disappointment

Disappointment comes with expectation. Never expect and you shall never be disappointed.

A very long engagement

The other day, i received a sms from this classmate of mine. She invited me for her birthday and engagement celebration. She's just one year older than i am. I told her i'd make time for her.

Few days back, i asked yet another classmate of mine about the purple gold ring on her finger (right hand middle finger to be exact) only to find out that it's for engagement. She's the same age as me. Another girl friend who was there turned to me and asked, "when is it gonna be our turn?" i just laughed.

These made me think.

Do they really know what they want or is it an impulsive moment?

Is age really catching up and people see the need to settle down or is it really true love and they found "the one" to spend the rest of their lives with? I hope it's the latter and i sincerely give them my blessings.

So when will mine be?

That's something that will not be happening in the near future.

A long way more to go.

After all, i'm still young. Or am i? *laughs*

why?

Sometimes, or many times rather, people do things which are beyond my comprehension.

Rice

The human body was never meant to consume rice! You see, our genes have hardly changed in more than 30,000 years. However, our food choices and lifestyle have changed dramatically. The caveman would hardly recognize our food or way of life. Caveman food was never cooked as fire was not yet tamed. Thus, he ate only those foods that you can eat without treatment with or by fire. He ate fruits, vegetables, fish, eggs, nuts and meat. Yes, even meat. You can even eat meat raw if you were starving in the forest. You have the necessary enzymes to digest meat. However, rice, like wheat and corn, cannot be eaten raw. It must be cooked. Even if you were starving in the desert, you cannot eat rice in the raw form. This is because we do not have the system of enzymes to break rice down. You were never meant to eat rice.

To make matters worse, you not only eat rice, but also make it the bulk of your food. In some parts of Asia, rice forms up to 85% of the plate. Even if you take rice, keep it to a minimum. Remember, it is only for your tongue - not your body. Actually, rice and other grains like wheat and corn are actually worse than sugar.

There are many reasons: Rice becomes sugar - lots of it. This is a fact that no nutritionist can deny: rice is chemically no different from sugar. One bowl of cooked rice is the caloric equal of 10 teaspoons of sugar. This does not matter whether it is white, brown or herbal rice. Brown rice is richer in fibre, some B vitamins and minerals but it is still the caloric equal of 10 teaspoons of sugar. To get the same 10 teaspoons of sugar, you need to consume lots of kangkong - 10 bowls of it. Rice is digested to become sugar. Rice cannot be digested before it is thoroughly cooked. However, when thoroughly cooked, it becomes sugar and spikes circulating blood sugar within half an hour - almost as quickly as it would if you took a sugar candy.

Rice is very low in the "rainbow of anti-oxidants" This complete anti-oxidant rainbow is necessary for the effective and safe utilisation of sugar. Fruits come with a sugar called fructose. However, they are not empty calories as the fruit is packed with a whole host of other nutrients that help its proper assimilation and digestion. Rice has no fibre. The fibre of the kangkong fills you up long before your blood sugar spikes. This is because the fibre bulks and fills up your stomach. Since white rice has no fibre, you end up eating lots of "calorie dense" food before you get filled up. Brown rice has more fibre but still the same amount of sugar. Rice is tasteless - Sugar is sweet. There is only so much that you can eat at one sitting. How many teaspoons of sugar can you eat before you feel like throwing up? Could you imagine eating 10 teaspoons of sugar in one seating?

Rice is always the main part of the meal - While sugar may fill your dessert or sweeten your coffee, it will never be the main part of any meal. You could eat maybe two to three teaspoons of sugar at one meal. However, you could easily eat the equal value of two to three bowls (20 - 30 teaspoons) of sugar in one meal. There is no real "built in" mechanism forus to prevent overeating of rice. How much kangkong can you eat? How much fried chicken can you eat? How much steamed fish can you eat? Think about that! In one seating, you cannot take lots of chicken, fish or cucumber, but you can take lots of rice. Eating rice causes you to eat more salt. As rice is tasteless, you tend to consume more salt - another villain when it comes to high blood pressure. You tend to take more curry that has salt to help flavor rice. We also tend to consume more ketchup and soy sauce which are also rich in salt. Eating rice causes you to drink less water. The more rice you eat, the less water you will drink as there is no mechanism to prevent the overeating of rice.

Rice, wheat and corn come hidden in our daily food. As rice is tasteless, it tends to end up in other foods that substitute rice like rice flour, noodles and bread. We tend to eat the hidden forms which still get digested into sugar. Rice, even when cooked, is difficult to digest. Can't eat raw rice? Try eating rice half-cooked. Contrary to popular belief, rice is very difficult to digest. It is "heavy stuff". If you have problems with digestion, try skipping rice for a few days. You will be amazed at how the problem will just go away. Rice prevents the absorption of several vitamins and minerals. Rice when taken in bulk will reduce the absorption of vital nutrients like zinc, iron and the B vitamins.

Are you a rice addict? Going rice-less may not be easy but you can go rice-less. Eating less rice could be alot easier than you think. Here are some strategies that you can pursue in your quest to eat less rice:

• Eat less rice - Cut your rice by half. Barry Sears, author of the Zone Diet, advises "eating rice like spice". Instead, increase your fruits and vegetables. Take more lean meats and fish. You can even take more eggs and nuts.
• Have "riceless" meals. Take no rice or wheat at say, breakfast. Go for eggs instead.
• Go on "riceless" days - Go "western" once a week. Take no rice and breads for one day every week. That can't be too difficult. Appreciate the richness of your food. Go for taste, colors and smells. Make eating a culinary delight. Enjoy your food in the original flavors. Avoid the salt shaker or ketchup. You will automatically eat less rice.
• Eat your fruit dessert before your meals. The fibre rich fruits will "bulk up" in your stomach. Thus, you will eat less rice and more fruits.

Dearest Jeannie

I've known you since you were born; watched you transform from this bespectacled short hair girl to now, this pretty lady with long straight hair. Time really flies doesn't it? On this very day, you're 17! May you become more beautiful with every passing day and sweep many guys off their feet. *laughs*

Happy 17th birthday!!

Love ya,
suanz.

High

James Blunt

Beautiful dawn - lights up the shore for me.
There is nothing else in the world,
I'd rather wake up and see (with you).
Beautiful dawn - I'm just chasing time again.
Thought I would die a lonely man, in endless night.
But now I'm high; running wild among all the stars above.
Sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me.

Beautiful dawn - melt with the stars again.
Do you remember the day when my journey began?
Will you remember the end (of time)?
Beautiful dawn - You're just blowing my mind again.
Thought I was born to endless night, until you shine.
High; running wild among all the stars above.
Sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me.

Will you be my shoulder when I'm grey and older?
Promise me tomorrow starts with you,
Getting high; running wild among all the stars above.
Sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me

Forgive = Love

"Forgiveness is the sole expression of love in its purest form. One that cannot forgive can never love completely."

I'm with you

Avril Lavigne

I'm standing on a bridge
I'm waiting in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
There's nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but there's no sound

Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you

I'm looking for a place
Searching for a face
Is anybody here I know
'Cause nothing's going right
And everythigns a mess
And no one likes to be alone

Isn't anyone trying to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you

Oh why is everything so confusing
Maybe I'm just out of my mind
Yea yea yea

It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you

Take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you
Take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you
I'm with you...

On my mind...

1. falling
2. blood flowing non-stop, staining my clothes and my hand
3. blood on the yellow lines
4. laughing hysterically
5. crying while laughing

I think when there's pain and blood, I dont know how to react. I laugh and cry at the same time. The other time i got a cut on my finger and there was blood, I couldn't stop laughing. I think laughing is a way of suppressing the emotions (like pain) hidden underneath.